The Good News is that Mom is coming back home to Hawkinsville today.  Taylor Regional had done a CT scan in August on mom’s head after she had an almost fainting spell at the library.   Once the neurologist looked at that CT scan and compared it with the one that they had just done (where he found the 2″ by 3″ brain tumor), he was able to tell us much more information.   He could not locate the tumor in August. Maybe just a hint on the earlier scan.    It is that fast growing.   It is a very aggressive, almost always malignant form of tumor.

Mom has been almost totally unresponsive since Friday.   Saturday, she mumbled some and a few times we could hear her saying her ABCs or counting to ten.   Sunday and Monday, she pretty much slept.   She will occasionally tighten her grip on our hands, but has only opened her eyes a couple of times.     Once yesterday, the nurses were moving her around and she started yelling out in obvious pain.   I grabbed her hand and kept telling her that I was there, she responded back several times with OKAY, OKAY.  I told her pain medicine was coming and she said, “Thank you.” (Polite to the end).    Other than that, we can’t really get any response.  We will ASK her to tighten her grip but get no response.

Due to the aggressiveness and the doctor’s continual watch over mom since Friday, he revised his life expectancy estimates.   While they hesitate to say much, (Doctors hate being wrong), he did shorten his expectation considerably.   We have called in Hospice and the joint consensus (between us, Hospice, and the Neurologist) is that mom probably only has a few days, to maybe a couple of weeks left here with us.  But only God knows His timing.

So, we are bringing her back home today!   Hospice will help with the nursing, pain management, and other necessary things.   But mom will be able to be home with family and her dog and cat!    Although pretty non-responsive, I think she will know when her dog “Fetch” lays beside her!

My family has been wonderful.   My cousins, Donna and Sherri have both been to the hospital.   Donna even spent one night for us.   Cousins Jake & Rebecca have been there every chance they could.  Kristen and Kyle have been incredible through all this.  They try to remain tough around me, so that I don’t get upset.  My in-laws came up last night and took us out to supper.

Vonnie has been super woman through all of this.   She sings to mom and talks to her all the time.   She spent last night with her at the hospital.   She has helped me, cried with me, and comforted me throughout this ordeal.

I am holding up.    It’s hard.

Every since I can remember, at whatever age a baby/child begins remembering things, at bedtime, me, mom, and dad always had the same little routine.    We would say, “Goodnight.   I love you.   I’ll see you in the morning.”    Even over the last several years that we have lived in the same house, we would always end the day with those words.     So last night, as I said them to mom, and each night going forward as I say those words to her, I realize each time that it could be the last time I get to say them to her.  It hurts, knowing that at some point, I will NOT see her in the morning.    At least not here on earth.      The only thing that gets me through is knowing that I WILL SEE HER AGAIN IN THE MORNING.   Mom is heading to heaven to be with Jesus very soon, and her family that has gone on before will be there.    I will eventually be doing the same.   So, yes, I can truthfully tell her each night, “I will see you in the morning”!

Anyone reading these blog posts, I pray that you have the assurance of your afterlife.   Our time on this earth is brief.   You need to know that you know that you know – that you have a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus.   Nothing else on this earth really matters.  We were created for fellowship with Him and to glorify Him.   That’s all that really matters!

Thank you to all of mom’s friends (and our friends) that have been reading these updates.   They started out as simply a way to update a large group without having to tell the same story individually to each one that calls or texts.   But they have turned out to be a sort of therapy for me.   I guess it helps to put some things down on paper (computer).   And your assurances, sympathies, and words of comfort on facebook, twitter, and comments on this blog have really helped.    I especially appreciate those that have messaged me with stories from when mom taught you in school.   (Larry Bennett, you probably DESERVED that spanking mom gave you in the 12th grade!).

Well, I need to get to Warner Robins to see about getting mom home,  So, for today…..  “Good night, I love you, I’ll see you in the morning……”

Shelly